Not Such a Monster
by Miss Monsters
Summary: Elena gets a call from Damon to come to his house,worried she goes over and finds the last thing she'd expect. Yeah,its a baby.
1. Chapter 1

_Not Such a Monster _

_Chapter 1_

Saturday,6:36 in the morning and someone was calling me. I hated this person. With a groan and eyes half open I reached out to my phone that rested on my bedside table and brought it to my ear.

"Hello?" came out gruffly.

"Um, hello, middle aged man answering Elena's phone."

Of course! Damon. "What are you doing?" Now said in my regular but sleepy voice.

"Well, with all the attempts made on your life in recent times I felt it my duty to start calling you at random to see you're still alive."

"…"

"You're angry, aren't you?" I could just see the smile on his face.

"No, not angry, TIRED." followed by a yawn.

"Ah, damn it." He said with what I think was fake disappointment or something ,I dunno. Its early.

"Do you actually want something?" Great, I'm waking up, will never get back to sleep now.

"Now you mention it there is a slight issue at my house I need your help with."

"I think the kind of 'issues' you have are more suited to Stefan."

"I'm not sure where my dear brother is so you will have to do."

Now I'm awake "Where is he?"

"As much as I love the sound of your voice, really I do," No idea if he was being sincere or ,you know, himself, "but the problem over here isn't getting any better so get your ass out of bed, get dressed and get over here."

Now I'm a little scared "Damon, what's going on? Stefan's missing? Have you-"

"See you soon, sweetie." And with that he hung up.

"Damon?" No answer. I sighed, putting my phone down "Shit." I jumped out of bed and dressed quickly, must have only been minutes since Damon so rudely hung up on me and here I was halfway down my street speeding to the Boarding House.

Something's happened to Stefan, was all I could think. But what? Held hostage? (again) Back on human blood? Has he just left, if he has, why? It even crossed my mind Damon may have done something to him. With all my freaking out I got to their house in what felt like a very short time.

Planting three loud knocks on the door, it didn't take long for him to open it and I hurried my way in.

"Did you have-" He started to say, but I interrupted him.

"What's going on, Damon? You call me in the-" Now I was interrupted, by what sounded like a cats cry.

"Did you guys get a cat?" I asked, puzzled.

"No,Stefan would gnaw on it all the time and it wouldn't like being gnawed on, it would just be very messy."

"So what is that?" He gestured to the living room and that's where I went, followed by him.

I scoffed at what I saw. I almost couldn't believe my eyes, not really something you'd expect to see in a vampires house or around Damon, ever.

"You have a baby?" I almost felt like laughing.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you for reviewing you wonderful people J

_Not Such a Monster _

_Chapter 2_

"And you woke it up trying to knock the door down." he said and continued, "It seems some inconsiderate human being decided to dump it on my door step and start my day off on a bad note."

While he was talking I went and lifted the wailing baby out of the bassinet Damon must have moved on to the couch.

"Hi there," I smiled "_oh look at you, oh look at you_." In an effort to calm it down, I'm sure Damon was pulling some kind of WTF face at my baby talk.

"I thought you said vampires couldn't have children." I pondered as the baby grabbed my finger and still bawled.

"Seriously?" He asked sounding very unimpressed, a small smirk escaped my lips.

"Kind of looks like you, same eyes, same hair colour." I smiled then looked at him "You should probably call Social Services or Sheriff Forbes."

"I called the Sheriff and I was told that no 'Official' could come and take…that," he gestured to what I was holding, "until at least this afternoon. Apparently my being such a trusted member of the community is what afforded me that pleasure. So then I called Stefan-"

My mind snapped back to what brought me here "Oh. my god! Stefan. I forgot, is he ok?"

Damon blinked "Uh, yeah…"

"Where is he? You said something had happened to him-" he began correcting me.

"Whoa,…no I didn't. I said there was an issue I needed your help with." he smiled a Damon smile, "you're holding said issue."

He called me at an ungodly hour, had me thinking my boyfriend was missing or worse, had me race over here _because _of a baby that was sleeping peacefully until I showed up.

I put the baby back in the bassinet and thought a moment.

Screw this, I'm going home and started for the door.

I barely took two steps and he was in front of me "Do you really want to be the girl who knowingly left a helpless little infant with a vampire?"

I was appalled "You wouldn't!" I said flatly…Would he? Oh, crap! There goes my Saturday.

Nine minutes later.

It was still crying. Should probably stop saying 'it' shouldn't I?

"Hey, is this a girl or a boy?" I asked, bouncing the baby in my arms.

He was horrified "I don't know I didn't look!" Now his face was twisted in revolt, "God, Elena, was that you?" Ass! Oh, that was disgusting. How can something so small make such a nasty smell? "I think it needs a diaper change." I said.

"Oh you think? Ah, my eyes are watering." He grabbed his jacket and said "I'll go."

This time I was in front of him before he had a chance to move. "I swear to whatever God that there is, Damon, if you are not back _very_ soon this child will be wearing one of your shirts." I had my best scary/stern face on and I think he got what I was saying clearly because(it doesn't take a witch or a vampire or some other supernatural creature to know this)I could see what he was thinking, it was all over his face 'YOU BITCH'

"Allright, all right, be back ASAP." And he made for the door.

"Oh and you'd better get some formula, too." I said

"Formula?" He asked.

"Its what they drink."

"I thought they drank milk."

Oh, god.

A/N:What do you think?


	3. Chapter 3

**A/**N: Thank you all for the reviews *hug* Hi, Sophie.

_Not Such a Monster _

_Chapter 3_

"Oh, there, there you poor loud thing." I said calmingly. "Are you crying because you smell bad?" The baby screeched "Okay, okay, I'm sorry, you don't smell bad." That was a lie. I was walking around lightly bouncing it-_him_(no idea as to girl or boy but I had to stop saying it)in my arms hoping that might calm him down.

I couldn't help wonder what kind of mother leaves her child on the doorstep of a strange house? The poor little guy, anything could have happened. Actually anything did, he was left with a vampire! And Damon had pretty much threatened to feed off him if I didn't stay. "_He__'__s a mean old vampire, yes he is_." said in baby talk.

He was cute-talking about the baby-big, light blue eyes, chubby little cheeks and a lot of dark hair for a baby his age, I'd guessed about three months old or so. And he(?)was wearing a plain white baby grow, so he could be a she for all I knew.

"I wonder when the mean old vampire comes back?" I said to the baby and to myself. He'd left about half an hour ago to get a couple of things and if he's not back in the next five I'm gonna keep my promise and head up to his room for one of his shirts.

As if on que I heard the door open followed by a "Honey, I'm home." and Damon appeared in the sitting room where I was.

Noting that the baby was still crying "Wow, …you're _awful _with kids." I glared, he smiled. "You were gone long enough." I said.

"Did you miss me?" he beamed back.

"…"

He just sort of shrugged, "Do you know how much this stuff costs?" he said holding up a white bag of baby stuff, "Why do people have these things?" I didn't answer him, I was feeling a little frazzled and was starting to question why myself. I rested the baby on the seat of the couch and took the bag from him without a word. "You're gonna change it on my _couch_?" he said almost astonished.

"Would you rather on your _bed_?" I shot back. He tilted his head and gave a contented grin.

"Stop it." I'm so not in the mood for his flirting.

I knelt down in front of the couch with a clean diaper in hand. Oh, god! There was no point in asking Damon to do it, he'd have vanished before I finished asking him. But still I didn't want to do it. As if he sensed something he said, "You know, you do that and I'll go make a bottle." Out of the room before I even turned around. God damn vampires.

"Ok, sweetie, just going to change you now." Bottom of the baby grow was off and the smell was worse, it actually got worse. "Ugh…" my face crumpled. "I hate you, Damon."

I choose not to describe the actual diaper change, but I did find out 'it/he' was actually a girl.

"Oh, there, _all clean, yes you are._" And still wailing. "You hate me don't you?"

"Its probably hungry, _Mommy._" The last word was a mimicking of my baby talk. I rose to my feet and found Damon stood beside me. "It's a girl and do not call me '_Mommy'_"

Whats with that smile on his face? "What, am I the only one finding humour in this situation?" He asked teasingly.

"Yes, you are!" he wasn't the one who was left holding a blubbering, reeking baby. My mini outburst made the little scream. "_OH,_ what a mean Mommy you are." he mocked. I grunted and yanked the tepid feeling bottle from his hand, picked up the baby and put it to her mouth. No point in asking Damon to do this either. She drank most of the bottle and was silent for a moment after she was done but then started up again, even louder than before. Oh, for god sake! And now I had to pee. I motioned for him to hold her. "Whoa." His hands up in front of his chest, "What are you doing?"

"Just hold her for two minutes." I bargained.

"No. Put it in the basket." he said firmly. Gonna ignore that.

"No, _she _needs to be held. Just-"tried to put her in his arms. Not working.

I really had to pee "DAMON"

"ELENA" Oh, he's getting annoying.

"Just-"

"No." he whined.

"_Come on!_" Normally I wouldn't try to force a baby onto someone but he was annoying me and plus I really needed to pee.

"I swear I'm gonna bite-"

"Seriously, would you just-" And that's when it happened. She slipped out of my arms and was halfway to the floor when a movement so fast happened it took me a moment to register. She was in Damon's arms and-"Have I gone deaf?"-was totally silent, except for one happy gurgle noise she made.

"_Oh, my god._" I said, jaw dropping. And then ran off to pee.

**A/N:** A baby likes Damon? Egads!


End file.
